


Why do you get all the love in the world?

by e_mors



Series: Make It Good [14]
Category: Actor RPF, Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14348058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_mors/pseuds/e_mors
Summary: Armie talks to Elizabeth while Timmy is at Coachella.





	Why do you get all the love in the world?

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Nine Inch Nails [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkUrZvbh9bU)

He walks fast through the corridor, hoping that Tim is not answering the phone, because he’s still here, in his room.

He opens the door and immediately smells her perfume. She was supposed to fly out this morning, when he left to go to the set. But she didn’t, apparently.

„Elizabeth?!”

She sits by the table, waiting. Her face resembling a mask.

„What have you done?”

He wants to grab her by her shoulders and shake that factitious grin out of her face but he stops himself and just stays on the other side of the room.

„I just wanted to talk to your boyfriend. See if maybe he has some sense to him, since you lost yours completely.” She says calmly.

„How did you..?”

„I checked your messages. You haven’t changed your passcode.”

He doesn’t want to think how much she managed to read. It doesn’t really matter anymore.

He suddenly understands everything. The last minute meeting with the producers was her doing.

„I asked Ben to occupy you for an hour after the shoot. I said I wanted to surprise you. I also changed the instructions you left at the front desk, so no, he didn’t get your message, mind you.”

The phone call from Tim makes sense now.

He tries to suppress his growing anger, especially seeing her so calm. He assumes she must have taken something because her composure has a chemical tinge to it.

„What the fuck have you told him, Liz?”

„Please, don’t call me that. Elizabeth, please.”

It doesn’t even make him cringe anymore. It makes him chuckle how ridiculously particular she is about her pretty common name, when Tim accepts people pronouncing and abbreviating his fancy one in any way they like. Just another example of the stark contrast between the two of them.

„Okay. What the fuck have you told him, _Elizabeth_?” he accentuates her name with irritation.

If she thinks he’s going to be calm about this, she’s wrong.

„Well..” she drags the word, looking at him with dead eyes. „I told him your little dirty secret. That he’s not your first.”

„Jesus, Elizabeth. You know it’s totally different!”

His stomach clenches as dread hits him for a split second. It’s stupid. He tells himself that Tim would never fall for that. He hopes he wouldn’t but he knows she won this round. The doubt is already raised.

She looks at the floor, saying nothing.

„We agreed. Why would you corner him like that, when we already agreed, huh? You shouldn’t have done it.” He’s so fed up with her. She can hurt him all she likes, but he can’t let her take it out on Tim.

He understands why Tim got so mad.

He’s angry as well. It’s not how tonight was supposed to look like at all. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him it was all going to be okay, that he sorted it out. He was dreaming about this all day. She deliberately ruined it for him out of spite. To punish both of them.

„Why are you doing this? You know that you’re making this so much easier for me, right?”

He steps forward and sits by her side.

„Why did you have to drag him into this?”

„I think I wanted to see him. I was hoping maybe..” she drifts off and then her features change again, become sharp, and she says:

„You know, funny thing. He said _Armie loves me_. He didn’t say he loved you or that you loved each other. Isn’t it strange?”

It’s her last resort and she has to use it, as thin as it is.

He doesn’t take the bait but it costs him.

„I do love him. And I’m happy he knows that.”

She looks at him and whispers:

„I wish you loved me like this.”

She’s defeated.

„We talked about this, Elizabeth. I do love you. But not like I used to. Please, we’ve been through this.”

He takes her by her hand and squeezes it gently. It strikes her how Timmy did it the same way just hours before. She closes her eyes but can’t stop the tears from falling any longer.

Armie takes her in his arms and holds her.

 

_______

 

He sways to the beat. Bodies brush against his, as he takes another drag. He closes his eyes and tries to just listen to the music.

The air is full of smoke and humidity, his lungs are filled with it and it makes him feel like drowning.

His phone is ringing over and over again, Armie’s name lighting up the screen.

He doesn’t answer, even though he’s not mad at him anymore.

He just tries, desperately tries to feel something that wouldn’t be connected to Armie. The fact that everything seems to link to him makes him increasingly worried. He’s not able to shake him, no matter what is going on around him. It feels like a trap.

He tells himself it’s just the pot making him paranoid.

Then the texts come.

 

Armie: She set this up, Tim, I had no idea.

Armie: She asked my producer Ben to take me to an impromptu meeting after the shoot.

Armie: I left a message for you and the key at the reception, but she changed that too.

Armie: I’m sorry, Tim. I really am. She shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that. She was really out of it.

Armie: She agreed on the divorce yesterday, I was going to tell you in person.

Armie: So she did it just to hurt us, you see? Please, don’t let her, T.

Armie: Our lawyers are already working on the papers. It’s taken care of, Tim.

 

He skims through them, not surprised, not relieved either.

Instead, he thinks of all the time he dreamt of being right where he is now, at a music festival, in VIP sector, with all these artists that he admires, watching them perform, smoking, drinking, having his name sung from the stage even. So why isn’t he happy? It just numbs him.

He responds simply:

 

Timmy: Good.

 

He feels exhausted. Like he’s been fighting a war that never ends.

The metaphor comes to him because he finds himself being swarmed by people, all of them gazing at him, wanting something from him. It unnerves him, all of this is so meaningless and empty.

Maybe once he wanted this. To be universally loved and admired, surrounded by people desperate for his attention.

But now he realises that yes, of course he wants all the love in the world, but he wants to get it from one person only.

How did it happen? He's so consumed by this love, it feels like quicksand. How could he allow himself to get so entangled with another person? He doesn't even feel like himself anymore. It's like they are blended together, merged, and he just cannot cut himself off. Not anymore.

Suddenly it hits him. The meaning of the line _Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine_.

There is no use fighting this nostalgia now.

 

_______

 

 

Tomorrow’s Sunday, his day off, so he considers going to Palm Springs to find and see Tim but decides he should give him some space instead.

He lies on the bed, tired but fairly calm, hopeful. He feels like the biggest hurdle is finally behind him.

Before he goes to sleep, he checks his phone one more time, even though he knows there are no new messages.

Then he checks Tim’s instagram and his heart skips a beat as he hears the first notes.

 

_Hand of God, deliver me_

_Oh, oh woe-oh-woah is me_

_The first time that you…_

 

…plays in Tim’s story. He calls him immediately.

This time Tim answers and says simply:

„I miss you so much.”

**Author's Note:**

> They are trying their best. Thanks guys for sticking with them in these trying times :)


End file.
